this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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