By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
