Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize