I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think pants incapable of making pants work
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
