I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
