Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
