Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i've created a new STD.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
