OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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