What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You smell like stripper and shame
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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