Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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