She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
