My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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