Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Randomize
