dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
This girl is more easily done than said...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
