its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
