After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
