My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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