Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
