I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm at about main and main street
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
