i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
