He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
