im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
