My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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