That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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