do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
