woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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