Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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