He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We have started to decorate penises.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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