GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's always time for handjobs
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
