Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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