If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I will be naked everywhere
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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