exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
