Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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