I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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