So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want her autograph on my taint
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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