She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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