if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
