he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
