just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
