PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
