I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
