she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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