I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
