soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
