so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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