just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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