when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
