Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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