their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so that wasnt chicken after all
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
