Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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