I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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