so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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