You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
