just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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