Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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